You know how humans go crazy before they get visitors? When they’re obsessed with cleaning?
Kajsa is very afraid of vacuum cleaners. She’ll usually hide somewhere in a lair, mortally terrified. I again discovered the benefits of Mom’s cultural roots: nothing can stop her when she’s cleaning the German way; she’s completely lost in her own world, especially under time pressure.
The perfect opportunity to look out for my favorite toy, hehe. Mom’s so stressed that she doesn’t see me, and the vacuum cleaner is so noisy that she can’t hear me.
Oh, and it’s not only for pleasure! I really did my best to prevent The Sister From Hell from invading our place: Mom run out of extra chargers, and her phone died when she was on her way to the terminal. Unfortunately, she spotted her sister without calling her. Bah. I thought I could count on Mom’s face blindness, but apparently she spend most of her life with this person.
Many of you know that Granny and Grandpa have a lot of stuff in their flat that they don’t like anymore. Can you imagine their cellar?! Mom did some hard work while we were in Germany and cleared their storage. She put most things on Ebay right away, but she may have found a real treasure: a box full of stamps! She got a catalogue for philatelists and took the stamps to Finland. She sometimes sits in our living room and tries to sort stamps.
We don’t really like her new hobby, because we mustn’t help her. Mom said that some stamps could be worth a lot of money; the oldest so far is from the 1880s. She claims that it’s very important to avoid any possible damage, because the value of a stamp depends on its condition.
Bah. I waited patiently for my chance to have a closer sniff. And then it happened: Mom had to use her litter box and was too lazy to put all stamps away. She had a look at me, but I was of course deeeeeeeep asleep, so she left the living room for 1 minute. Hehe.
She was not impressed with my hunting and acting skills, bah. However, we found a compromise – I may sit in this basket while she’s watching at very old paper that humans for some reason consider valuable. Humans. They never stop surprising us, don’t they?
I’m now trying to negotiate what we’ll do with the big money that will come in eventually. We heard that stamps are sold for millions of dollars! Mom says that this is very unlikely, but she hopes that one or two stamps are worth 100$. Pfft. Why are humans always so pessimistic??
(P.S. Important question: are 100$ enough for treats, a big house with garden and a giant scratching tree?? Mom says no; a normal scratching tree for 100$ is realistic. But she wants to pay bills first, so we won’t see a lot of this money. Bah.)
A cold Sunday morning in January. Extract from Tessa’s secret Twitter account.
4:40 I’m bored. Maybe Mom wants to play with me. 4:41 Good morning! 4:45 Helloooooooooooooo!! 4:50 Hm. She doesn’t really seem to be into playing. Let’s see what Kajsa’s doing. 4:55 Uh-oh. Kajsa didn’t want me to sniff at her. Best I run like lightning back to Mom… one last jump, ups, what a hard landing, good that she’s well-padded… 5:00 Oh, there’s nothing cozier than snuggling with Mom in bed, I’m kneading her skin with delight. 5:10 Now that’s fun: Mom started listening to relaxation exercises. Headphones are my favorite breakfast! 5:11. Darn, she realized that I was chewing on her headphones. But now that her eyes are open, she’ll for sure get up, make breakfast and play with me. 5:20 Hello-ho? I’m waiting! 5:25 Why is she now laying on her side?? I know that she can’t fall asleep otherwise, but she sure doesn’t want to sleep anymore? I want to lay on her belly, so much cozier! 5:26 Hm. If I sit down on her head, she’ll probably turn around. 5:27 Ok, ok, calm down, human. 5:30 It’s really uncomfortable when she’s laying on her side, but it’s fun to climb on her and keep balance. 5:33 I think I’ve balanced enough now. Helloooo? 5:34 Gonna do my business in the litter tray next to the human bed. Important to scratch as loud as possible so that Kajsa knows that this is my litter box. 5:37 Hi, I’m back!! 5:40 YEAH! She finally gave up and got herself out of bed. Looking forward to a yummy breakfast! 5:50 Bummer. She only made breakfast for herself because we’ve more than enough food left. She also grumbled something about that we shouldn’t get used to the idea that she feeds us in the middle of the night?!? 5:52 Tried to steal some cheese. 6:00 Mom is laying on her back on the sofa and watching TV. She says she wants to rest a bit, and invites me to sit on her belly. Oh well, so now she remembers how warm and soft my fur is? 6:02 Yawn. Sounds like a good plan, but I’m very very tired now, so I’ll have a long nap on the shelf.
6:03 And no, I’m not afraid that I’ll fall down, and yes, I’m comfy here. I’m not as freaking inflexible as you when I’m sleeping.
I swear it wasn’t me. I’m just making sure that nobody gets hurt because Granny is sometimes very clumsy.
I mean, I was just being nice – exactly what Mom wants us to be at our holiday home. Now, this is very difficult to bear, but Mom didn’t believe in my innocent intentions? She clearly confused offender and guard!!