I as in Impossible and as in I’m possible

Today it’s time for a challenged challenge! This post is both part of the A to Z Challenge and The Lazy Pit Bull’s blog hop* 52 Snapshots of Life – A weekly themed photo challenge. This week’s topic is blessing.

I was in psychiatric ward exactly one year ago. I suffered from severe depression and anxiety disorder. I’m still on a long-term sick leave, but I’m feeling much better this spring. A year ago, it felt impossible to recover. I freaked out when people told me that I needed to be patient, and time will heal. I couldn’t imagine a future. At all.

The hospital’s psychologist asked me what I would choose if I could change something in my life.
I answered that I wanted to get cats. This was the first time I felt the urgent need of living with cats, and I was surprised myself. However, I couldn’t get everyday life at sheltercats due to my financial situation. When my family and friends heard about my longing for cats, they promised to support me. They don’t only support me, but even convinced me to accept their offer.

Two cats will move into my house in less than two weeks. I can’t believe that this is really happening. I’m becoming a cat owner! I wished I could talk to this sad girl in hospital. I’d like to tell her that she’s right about some things: I still feel bad and have difficulties handling my life. However, things are slowly improving. A future seems possible. One big dream will be fulfilled in 2015 – I’ll have cats. It’s so hard to describe what my cats really mean to me.

I’m blessed with a great family and friends. They can’t treat my depression and anxiety, but they support me and make my dream come true. That’s why I chose a picture of Kajsa and Tessa for this week’s photo challenge. I’m also grateful that I live in a society which accepts mental health disorders, and ensures that I get treated. Whilst many aspects of my life are quite bad, two major parts are in place: my own social circles and the society I’m living in.

Talking about ‘impossible’: I met my psychiatrist today. I’ve been almost manic during the last weeks, there’s so much happening in my life right now. I don’t sleep enough and have severe problems to calm down. I may have to slow down this blog for a while. I’ll still try to write a daily post, but I’ve to cut the amount of time and energy I spent online and elsewhere. I still have to cat-proof some parts of my home, and I need to prioritize that. Please don’t be surprised if I don’t comment on your blogs for some time. I’ll come back when my cats have moved in, and things are more settled. It’s too much at once now.

I told Kajsa and Tessa that my shrink wants me to calm down. They seem to understand my situation, and want to help me.

funny cat position
cat feels safe at shelter

*A blog hop is a specific topic bloggers write about on a certain day. The blog hop (hopping from one blog to another) collects all links, and makes it easy to see how others have interpreted this topic. This posting was part of The Lazy Pit Bull’s blog hop on Blessing.