What, Mom? I know that I never sit on your lap. I like it when you lay down, but your lap is not good enough for me. Granny’s again is perfect, I want to sit here for hours! Now get lost and leave us alone.
You may continue tickling me now, Granny, I think I made my point.
Oh, I love this box on top of the cupboard. It’s one of my favorite beds, but why on earth did Mom put it there if she didn’t want me to sleep in it??
It’s not my fault that I have to jump on the kitchen table when I want to get down. And it’s not my fault that Granny likes to sit there with her crosswords. And it certainly isn’t my fault that she forgets that she’s two cats now, and that I like to sleep on the cupboard.
So when I jump on her crossword after some good hours sleep, and Granny starts behaving like slaughtered people in a horror movie, why does Mom look at me??????
HELP! Our office strategy didn’t work out! This woman is not only stupid, but also dangerous!
We’re now her cheeky monkeys and cuter than chockie bikkies. Ok, we’re used to humans calling us stupid names, and to be honest: we’re rather a cheeky monkey to Australians than a Mäuschen (mousey) to Germans. What we don’t accept, under any circumstances, is that she said that we would be the perfect chrissy prezzy for hubby. She wants to catnapp us to Australia!!!!
Mom said that
She wouldn’t let K. do that (hear hear)
Australian customs are crazy and very strict.
We dunno. It’s probably best that we stay in the bedroom at day time, and move to the living room when K. goes to bed.
However, we’ve to be on our feet around the clock because K. is sometimes nocturnal, and calls her boss, hubby and customers in the middle of the night! We start to wonder whether she really belongs to the human species as humans typically sleep at night. Is she an alien? Isn’t her weird language also a strong indicator??
Oh kitties, this is all very exhausting and confusing. We’re glad that we cats are ever so flexible with our diurnal rhythm – she talked about this chrissy-prezzy-hubby thing at 5 am when Mom was sleeping!!!!!!! Very suspicious!
We’ve worked very hard on showing our Australian Intruder that she’s not welcome anymore.
We were thrilled when we heard that she had used all her vacation days, but our excitement didn’t last long as she can work from “home” (bah). Every morning, after having Brekkie, she turns OUR table into her home office. We tried to make our point by occupying our table, and foolishly hoped that Mom would support us. Can you believe that she warned K. that I’m probably waiting for my chance to “steal” her headphones?? Bah. Those headphones are on my table, so they’re mine, and I can’t technically steal my own property.
Kajsa and I are not always soul mates, but she backed me up big time. Our plan is to prevent K. from working, and hope that her boss gets fed up and requires her return to Straya.
It’s interesting though that this woman has an employment at all, because she’s not very bright. How can she believe that I want to snuggle with her?? Can’t she see that I’m telling her to leave?
Only good news: we overheard a Skype call with her husband: she said that she’s looking forward to Chrissie and a Barbie. It’s of course crazy that an Australian visits Finland in winter time, but she sure isn’t so crazy that she wants to barbecue in Finland in December??
We really love the groundplan of our new residence because you can walk in circles!
Mom’s shrink says that Mom should try to do more sports, and of course we want to support her as good as we can. That’s why we demand that Mom is doing her daily circle training: we want her to run with a string toy from the living room through the kitchen to the bedroom and through the hall to the living room to the kitchen to … It’s a wonderful family event! Mom runs, Tessa runs after her to catch the string toy, and Kajsa runs after Tessa to chase the toy from her.
Our second discipline includes a ball. Mom throws a ball from the living room though the kitchen to the bedroom, and we run a race to be first. We then want Mom to come and throw the ball through the hall to the living room. It’s a great variation to the string-toy-circle-training: Mom doesn’t have to run that much, but getting the ball is great exercise. Sometimes she just has to bend down, but she also needs to stretch and crawl because the ball gets somehow often under furniture.
Intruder K. claims to be a good friend of Moms, and you should think that she only wants the best for her. Can you believe that she thinks that Mom’s nuts because she’s running in circles through the apartment???
Mom’s been closing the bathroom door ever since Intruder K. stepped into our Queendom because humans don’t like sharing bathroom noises and smells. Isn’t it an international law that girls go to the bathroom together? At least we love to join Mom: Tessa often uses the litter box next to Mom’s while I ensure some quality lap time.
As most cats, we don’t like closed doors, so we don’t want to be with Mom in the bathroom when the door is closed. I also take my time to decide whether I want to go to the bathroom at all, and I want to make this important decision on the doorstep.
You should think that K. does enough damage by forcing Mom to close the door, but it gets worse!
K. thinks it’s silly that Mom “allows” me to be on her lap.
K. thinks that Mom’s totally nuts because we’ve a highly developed routine.
You know, it’s very hard to jump directly from the floor on Mom’s lap. I’ve to jump onto the flush behind Mom, go to the sink, balance on its edge and eventually jump on Mom’s lap. It’s a torture I can’t go through every time, so I’m meowing until Mom lifts me up. But that’s not the only thing Mom has to do: I don’t like her skin, so she has to put up her trousers as far as possible. She also has to lift her legs (“stand” on her toes) – I want the slope to be towards her belly, not the floor.
I don’t understand why our bathroom routines are any of K.’s business. Can you believe that she even wanted to take our freedom of speech? K. says that Mom shouldn’t allow me to blog on this topic because “snuggling with your cat on your lap while relieving yourself” is not the kind of thing to share online. Well…. I’m sure she has not read many cat blogs?
Intruder K. sneers at Mom because she’s too soft-hearted to make me leave. K. claims that I don’t choose my sleeping places randomly, but take advantage of any possibility to occupy Mom’s spots. What?? How am I supposed to know where Mom wants to lay down?
K. says that
a) Mom is always laying on the same spot
b) The “setting” is pretty obvious.
I don’t know what she means. When is this woman going to leave??
I know we were thrilled about our new servant K., but she became an intruder after a while. Can you believe that she’s still staying at OUR place??! Mom says that Australia is far far away (we really hope so!), and that nobody would go for a short trip from Australia to Europe. Bah. Of course people do. But apparently not K. Suck.
Just look at this: the good bed times are gone, I’ve hardly any space!
– Mom didn’t blog. She neither read your blogs!
– She closes the door when she goes to the bathroom!
– We don’t get her full attention!
– They put K’s suitcase in the cellar because it took too much space!
Only good news: K.’s now “working from home” (home?!?) so Mom has more time for blogging now. Which is only fair because we’ve lot’s of horror stories to tell about our ordeal.
Our new staff K. was very tired tonight. Mom wanted to watch some more tv, but K. persuaded her to go to bed as well. They both sleep in Mom’s king size bed, and K. sleeps on my favorite spot next to Mom!! So unfair.
So here’s what I did: I placed myself on Mom’s side of the bed, next to K., and looked as cute as I could while Mom was in the bathroom. When she came to the bedroom, K. asked her to go back to the living room to watch her silly tv show: K. prefered to sleep next to me instead of Mom. So now we’ve got the big bed to ourselves. Mom is expelled and writes this post for me. Oh yes, kitties, I can definitely recommend Australian staff.
Old picture. K. didn’t allow Mom to take a picture because she was afraid that I’d go away.