You’d think that we suffered enough by seeing a veterinary dentist. Now Mom had this crazy idea to take pictures of our teeth so that she can follow up on plaque and other changes. She got her photos, but not without a fight and a number of outtakes.
Do you remember K., the Australian intruder, who stayed at our place last fall? Mom sent this picture to her, and you’ll never guess her comment: “Kajsa looks like a guinea pig!”
What? I know they’ve a lot of crazy animals down there in Straya, but how can she mix up a cat with a guinea pig? Can’t she see my dangerous fangs, indicating that I’m a predator and not a silly herbivore? Bah. Rather than commenting on European cats, she should focus on animals in her environment. Hope that some nasty spider or snake pays her house a visit anytime soon. Chances are she’ll mix them up with a birdie or maybe a kangaroo.
Bah! So that’s Mom’s salary for abandoning us and taking care of her godchild: she caught his flu. Our first thought was something like “serves her right” , but who’s now on duty nursing whining humans? Right. It’s us! Where’s this toddler now, when our human needs somebody to take care of her?? This little imp is having a blast and leaves Mom to her fate!!
Oddly enough, Mom’s actually thankful that the toddler from hell is not staying with her while she’s sick – she says that toddlers are very bad nurses. ?? Humans are so screwed up.
On the bright side – I can spot my salary for nursing Mom. Let’s hope that she’s falling asleep in this very position, and this blue tasty cord will be mine, hehehe.
SHE IS BACK !!!!! Finally! Not only did she leave us alone over night, but was also late: she promised to be back by 9 am, but wasn’t here until 11 am ! She didn’t even feel guilty for her delay, but claims that she had no choice ?!
Mom was in charge of her 1,5-year-old godson. She picked him up at 4 pm, slept at his place, and was supposed to drop him off at daycare at 8.30 am. Unfortunately, he became sick, coughed through the night and had a temperature. (Oh, doesn’t this imp know how to make a scene??) Our human says that you can’t bring sick children to daycare, and that you absolutely can’t leave a toddler alone. So she had to stay two more hours until his mother came up with a solution. For some complicated reason, his mother was out-of-town and his father abroad.
We don’t think it’s complicated. Everybody knows that toddlers are terrorists. No wonder his parents run away and blackmailed our human to take care of him. She falls for everybody who’s a brat, but looks cute and plays helpless – after all, that’s exactly what we cats do for a living.
So she can’t leave a toddler for 2 hours on his own, but us for many many hours?? Let’s do the math: she left at 3.30 pm and came home at 11.00 am. In other words, she was away for 19,5 hours!!
Bah. There’s no way we’ll let her catch up on some sleep after taking care of a whining toddler last night. Feline friends: what is the longest your human ever left you without a catsitter?? Are almost 20 hours OK??
Phew – Mom’s visitor finally left! We can’t believe this person was her sister (NO! We won’t call her auntie!) because she was so different.
However, they’ve one thing in common: insomnia issues. Our human snores a lot, so she offered her our bedroom to her sister. This is already bad enough: we don’t like when our human changes her routines, and her sleeping on the sofa was very confusing. But it got worse. Her sister closed the bedroom door at night !!! She was longing for a silent room and privacy.
WHAT? Of course we were scratching at the door, making sure that she didn’t get a silent room, but how dare she claim privacy in our Queendom? Now, we know that we complained a lot when Mom’s Australian friend K. visited us last fall. Some of you may remember that Mom insisted on closing the bathroom door to get some privacy – but that was only for some minutes a time, not a whole night!
Looking on the bright side, we liked the um … creative … way Mom’s sister made the bed, but that doesn’t excuse her very rude behavior.
Oh yes. Kajsa got so excited when the sister from hell finally left. When Mom moved back to her bed, Kajsa was dancing on her belly all night.
Now Mom threatens that she’ll also start closing the door if Kajsa continues partying on her belly, but we assume she’s joking – she sure wouldn’t dare bouncing us from the bedroom ?
Do I look exhausted? You bet I am. Our visitor finally left, and we’re all trying to catch up some sleep.
We’re sorry for the blog break – our human was so tired that she couldn’t think clearly. Can you believe that she actually pre-wrote some postings to keep our blog running, but FORGOT to schedule them? Bah.
I guess we’re lucky that she didn’t forget to feed us? She said that we’ll go back to daily posts now, but we don’t dare to promise anything. Her memory is like a sieve!
Our silly human was very surprised when she got this picture from our catsitter: we never sit like that when Mom’s home.
Come on! Why should we behave the same with a different person? Did she really think that we’d sit all day on our usual spots and miss her?
Besides, when she gets visitors, she also behaves different, and does a lot of things she normally doesn’t. Like closing the bathroom door. Getting dressed. Eating at the diner table instead of in front of her computer. Covering her mouth when she’s coughing. Hiding our tampons. Picking her nose only in the bathroom.
Ups. Guess she wanted to keep that a secret, hehe.
The other day, we had an appointment for our annual veterinary check-up. Some of you may remember that I bought an old pram to cut down taxi bills: I don’t have a car, and two boxes are difficult to carry on public transportation.
I guess I can forget about being anonymous in my neighborhood.
P.S. They’re both doing great, but we need to get their teeth done this summer. Nothing serious though, only tartar and plaque.
And just for your information – Mom manipulated our catsitters. Of course she had a separate section on treats on her looooooong list of instructions and suggested several ways of making us work for treats. Bah. Why does Mom want us to work for treats? And not enough with puzzles – our live-in maid, Nickisreading , went one step further: she wanted to test our tricks.
Mom was so satisfied with herself that she bragged of our clicker training when she met Nickisreading. We know for example how to high-five, but Mom realized that we’re afraid of her hand when her palm is above our heads. We look like Mom’s going to slap us, and it’s not hard to guess what we may have experienced with human hands in our previous life. So we’re now learning a tougher version of high-five (honestly, we’re dangerous predators and high-five is for sissies!): a gangster greeting ritual ! We knock Mom’s fist, then we look to the right, then to the left and finally knock again.
So this endeavored catsitter wanted us to knock her fist, too! Bah. Tessa did her best to show that we’re indeed dangerous gangster kitties and won’t work on our ritual with outsiders. So Tessa flashed her fangs, but this silly girl didn’t know her own best and pointed on Tessa’s paws.
Hehehe. You can probably guess how this story ended: an injured catsitter on her way to the hospital! And best of all, she left the treat bag on the floor while she screamed in pain and tried to control the bleeding!
(Mom here: you can watch the video here if the embedded above doesn’t work on your device)
Help! How can we delete this video from our blog???
So the silly human’s back home. We have to admit that we weren’t as hard as we wanted. We planned on ignoring her, showing our disrespect, but at the end of the day, we’re just two little poor cats: we were so happy to see our Mommy again that we couldn’t hide it.
However, this was before we found out that she didn’t get us any souvenirs. You should think that she’d bring bags of treats to bribe us – but nada. Quite the contrary happened! She had a look at the cupboard and said “I see the catsitters have spoiled you!”
Bah. Ok, she admitted that she wrote on the looooong list that they can spoil us rotten. Truth is that those clueless catsitters didn’t have a choice as we’re very dangerous predators. We protected our home, hissed, and were just about biting them to hospital, so they had to give us a lot of treats!
You think Mom’s behavior was bad? The worst thing is yet to come! We came to know that she was visiting Granny in Germany. Our wonderful Granny felt of course sorry for us, and wanted to buy some souvenirs. Can you believe that Mom just sneered at her???