Other animals

What we kept secret in our interview

cats that got interviewed by a magazine

We are superstars! Mom was surprised when the Funny Farmer Felines asked us to give an interview for the magazine Mousebreath. Why was she so surprised? We’re most beautiful and clever – no wonder that major magazines are standing in line to get an interview with us!

Our human isn’t as gorgeous as we, but she sure will also become famous one day – in her own niche so to say: she’d do great on comedy and epic fail shows!

Let’s take the question How did you all come to live together? as an example. We already shared a funny misunderstanding in our interview, but there’s more to the story: the staff of our shelter had a good laugh after Mom’s first visit.

Our human is very afraid of spiders and hoped that cats, being brave predators, would exterminate all eight-legged devils. Can you believe that she actually asked the staff if they had ever seen us chasing spiders?? Now, shelters are certainly used to weird questions, but they never had someone asking for a spider executioner. Oh yes, you bet we all had a blast!

Tessa with her most evil laughter

In case you’re wondering: we are indeed interested in spiders, but we hardly ever kill them. You all know that we cats love to play with our prey. We often catch spiders, but we won’t kill them right away because we want to play with them first. However, spiders are very fast and often manage to escape alive. Bah.

It’s hard to believe, but Mom doesn’t appreciate our attempts to save her life. She says that she was better off when she knew where the spider was. Knowing that a dangerous spider is hiding somewhere in our apartment freaks her out. Humans! A really ungrateful race. Oh, and on a sidenote: there’s no toxic spiders in Finland – Mom’s hysterical for no reason.

You can read the full interview here: Tessa and Kajsa from Helsinki . We want to thank the Funny Farmer Felines for their great work!

 

The pantry on our roof

Good news! We’ve more than one source of income! Our backyard chicks are growing nicely, but our house offers so much more: some birds are still breeding on the roof! The chicks are flapping their wings, eager and helpless at the same time. Oh, we are right underneath, and try to encourage them to take the next step!

You may remember that we live on the top floor…

Come on, little fellow, spread your wings and dare to fly for the very first time in your life! We will take good care of you!

gull chick vs cat

Indeed, wonderful times ahead, I better get started to prepare myself. I know that Mom laughs about my in-or-out indecision, but Carefulness Saved The Cat! I think I’ll be on the balcony in about 1,5 hours – just about time when our visitor arrives, I think.

 

Anyone good with birds?

Thank you for your sympathies! If humans hijacked our yard, Mom would call the police. When mad gulls commit the very same crime, she says

It’s this time of the year, once the chicks fledge, their parents will have better things to do than terrorizing everybody around our house.

Wait. It makes actually total sense now when we come to think about it: Mom is in general very subservient to animals. Her diet is largely vegetarian: she normally eats meat or fish once a week, and tries to compensate that by cooking as many vegan meals as possible. Last, but not least, she’s under our paws, and her friends think that we terrorize her. Is it any wonder that she likes gulls even though they’re mad and dangerous?

That being said, it’s very frustrating that we’ve to rely on her. We’re still on a curfew because we’re too afraid to go out. So what happens when a vegan mammal tries to keep track on birds? Well, you name it: it’s a disaster.

This is the picture we showed yesterday:

But Mom took more pictures of Mr. and Mrs. Bully Gull’s offspring.

Eh? She suddenly realized that their colors were different, and now she’s confused. The colors on the photos are realistic: one of them was white and the other gray. However, the pattern on weir wings and the color on their tails are similar. They also behaved the same way: helpless; neither of them could fly nor defend themselves.

So now she doesn’t know whether both chicks of Mr. Bully Gull survived or if we’re dealing with two different species. Humans! They are so helpless without us! Can anyone help us here?

Whoever this second fellow is: he’s feeling way to comfortable in our realm! Frankly, we are very tolerant, and we’d love to host a multicultural feast. So we’ll just cope with Mom’s lacking ornithological skills and add the second chick to our menu as a surprise course.

Feline friends, this is an open invitation: come and join us for The Big Chick Feast !

 

Danger of death

Our garden has been the center of violent street gangs for over a month now. They are very aggressive, and no one dares to go to our garden. Very strong and tall men like our groundskeeper surrendered: he was too afraid to cut the grass!

So who are the gangsters of our backyard? May I introduce – Mr. and Mrs. Bully Gull *shudder*

Two chicks fell off our roof in the beginning of June. Mr. and Mrs. Bully Gull took Darwin’s law into their own claws and turned our garden into a nursery. One of them was always on parole, and oh my, they really took their duty seriously. Not only did they attack everybody around our house, but also threatened us poor cats when we were on our catio.

Mom has somehow succeeded to take a picture. She was so in love with this little fellow.

 

On a sidenote – I’m a very talented predator! I knew something was going to happen there! That’s me, next to the hiding spot of the chicks. I was in the right place, but unfortunately at the wrong time – about 2 days before our yard turned into a gull zone.

Since the nursery opened, it has been difficult to go out. Mr. Gull scared the bejesus out of me, and I hid for a long time under Mom’s bed after we got in. On top of all, Mom didn’t feel sorry for me!! She said she understands that Mr. and Mrs. Gull have second thoughts about me, casually walking outside and minding my own business.

Mom has checked upon the chicks whenever she got a chance. It’s nice that she’s so concerned, controlling that they thrive nicely, preparing to become the main course of our big feast!

That’s our little chick one month later, almost grown-up!

He’s now a juvenile! Mom saw that he’s training his wings, and she believes he’ll soon learn to fly. Wonderful! Best time to reap the harvest: he has grown a lot, but is still vulnerable enough to get caught!

So keep tuned, we’ll share pictures of our epic feast anytime soon!

 

Why cats are more successful managers than humans

We’ve to acknowledge that Mom has learned from her mistakes: the first thing she saw when she met the real-estate agent at our new place was a thief.

Do you remember that we didn’t have any squirrels at our old residence  ?? When she saw this little fellow, she decided immediately that she’d do her very best to get this apartment. Indeed, we’ve trained her so well that she would have signed the lease on the backyard without even looking at the apartment!

We’re sorry for the poor quality, but Mom didn’t want to frighten Mr. Squirrel away before he got to meet us. A wise strategy which really paid off – look who welcomed us when our moving van arrived! Bad luck that we were in our transportation boxes, though.

Now it’s important to praise humans every now and then because praise keeps servants motivated and happy – that’s at least what most leadership courses will tell you. So Kajsa followed the books when she got really excited to see our new neighbor climbing on the fire escape ladder next to our balcony.

Can you imagine that Mom didn’t open the balcony door?? She said we can go out after she has cat-proofed the balcony. Bummer. These business school rules about praising inferiors are clearly not working, and frankly, we cats have known this for centuries!

Dear feline friends, what’s the best reaction to anything humans do for us? Exactly. Ignoring any human effort is a worldwide well-known and very successful feline approach to absolute power.

 

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