Thank you for all your compliments! Mom’s very flattered, which is great for us, because it’ll hopefully motivate her to build more furniture for us. Nevertheless, we’re a normal feline household. No amount of fancy ladders will change our 3 most favorite spots:
3. Mom’s pillow / blanket / spot on the sofa as soon as she gets up.
2. Mom’s lap when she’s doing her needs.
and of course, Number 1:
Oh, and yes, sorry Mom, those are far more popular than your belly or lap outside the bathroom.
It was a cold and dark November afternoon in Northern Europe when an Australian tourist checked in at Helsinki-Vantaa’s Airport. She hugged her host. They maybe shed a tear or two, but it was impossible to tell as the cold rain had soaked into all their clothes. K. asked her friend to cuddle her cheeky monkeys when she got home.
K. went through the security control, did some shopping, and arrived at the boarding gate in time. She checked her carry-on for a last time: passport, mobile phone, laptop, a small pillow, sleep mask, headphones, purse… yes, she was prepared for a long flight to the other end of the world. She got to her seat, closed her eyes and thought about Perth. Summer. Warmth. A barbie. Hubby. Many hours away, but she was coming closer. She decided to watch a movie, opened her laptop and got her headphones.
Wait. Those cheeky bastard monkeys.
Feline friends – this could have become a great book on revenge and feline superiority. We imagined K. would sit for many many hours on a plane and couldn’t listen to any music. Turned out they sell headphones on airplanes. Bah.
We’ve worked very hard on showing our Australian Intruder that she’s not welcome anymore.
We were thrilled when we heard that she had used all her vacation days, but our excitement didn’t last long as she can work from “home” (bah). Every morning, after having Brekkie, she turns OUR table into her home office. We tried to make our point by occupying our table, and foolishly hoped that Mom would support us. Can you believe that she warned K. that I’m probably waiting for my chance to “steal” her headphones?? Bah. Those headphones are on my table, so they’re mine, and I can’t technically steal my own property.
Kajsa and I are not always soul mates, but she backed me up big time. Our plan is to prevent K. from working, and hope that her boss gets fed up and requires her return to Straya.
It’s interesting though that this woman has an employment at all, because she’s not very bright. How can she believe that I want to snuggle with her?? Can’t she see that I’m telling her to leave?
Only good news: we overheard a Skype call with her husband: she said that she’s looking forward to Chrissie and a Barbie. It’s of course crazy that an Australian visits Finland in winter time, but she sure isn’t so crazy that she wants to barbecue in Finland in December??
We’re very proud of two Australian mates. Their former servant K. is certainly well-trained, and may work in grand houses worldwide.
We were first shocked when we heard that Mom’s friend an intruder will live at our place for some weeks. Visitors mean change, cleaning and lack of attention. However, K. is well aware that we have established rules and routines in our Queendom, and she will subjugate herself whilst she is under our command. She told Mom that
I’ll let the cats adjust me to their standards and chain of control.
Now that sounds really promising. K. also said that she prefers a heated flat, but she’ll gladly open the balcony door for us as often as we want to. Well, we guess she’ll soon find out that “as long as they want to” is more appropriate: Kajsa is a lousy decision-maker and needs at least an hour to decide whether she wants to go to the balcony, with three legs in the bedroom and one leg on the balcony…
Talking of balconies: we’re all settled on the most expensive seats and eager to see a great reality show: our foolish maid with the new butler.
Mom thinks that we live in a safe and peaceful environment. I often envy her lack of concern, because we’re facing several enemies attacking our fortress.
First of all, nasty Mr. Vacuum Cleaner managed to sneak into the moving van. We don’t know when this happened, but we suspect it was while we were locked in the bedroom as we take our watching duties very seriously. Secondly, the groundskeeper at our new place. He foolishly believes the dog from the first floor is his enemy, but is unaware of the feline force in the second floor.
And then we’ve random construction workers thinking that our territory is restricted to human property. Apparently, the mafia boss behind all these activities is called The City of Helsinki. Lord City of Helsinki has many players, and Mom is always surprised that I can distinguish them from random pedestrians. Of course I started snarling before they were making noise! Mom didn’t even recognize that the enemy had arrived when I gave the alarm.
This happened yesterday, and I really needed to rest today. Tessa was on watch when a white van showed up on the road-where-cars-aren’t-allowed. Excellent move to drive a white car in the snow – but of course Tessa spotted the enemy right away.
Mom said that those people aren’t enemies, but from our electricity supplier and probably doing important maintenance work …. suck. There’s a reason why we never promoted her from her current position as a domestic servant. Imagine the damage she could do as a security guard!
Ahem. Mom, could you please stop whatever you’re doing and open these parcels asap?
What do you mean with “in an ideal world nobody would mess up mats either” ?? Are you suggesting that a) mats are as important as parcels and b) that I have anything to do with those silly playful rugs???
The dark and cold time reveals just how weird humans are. Here we’re, casually enjoying a family evening together. We’re carefully watching Mom playing a strange human game: to reassemble 1000 pieces to a picture which was already broken when she bought it.
We don’t understand why she’s so suspicious about our presence – turned out that she doesn’t trust us. What?? This is so unfair, just look at us, all innocent and cozy. Besides, even IF our innocent paws were involved in this game, why does she get upset when we destroy it again? After all, didn’t she buy the picture because she wants to spend time repairing it? We only wanted to make sure that she can keep repairing?
Granny lives in an apartment building in the center of a big city. Mom had the brilliant idea to take me for a walk to the basement because she thought I’d like to explore long corridors.
Eh …. shouldn’t she know that we cats hate closed doors??? And that we love windows?? Total fail. After several attempts to make her open doors, I showed her in no uncertain terms that I had enough. Bah. A basement where people store a lot of stuff in boxes sounds fun, but not this stupid corridor. Honestly – what was she thinking???